150+ Funny Charcuterie Puns, Quotes & Sayings

Short Charcuterie Puns (One-Liners)

These are short enough for a small board, a food label, or a letter board.

1. Brie calm and charcuterie on.
2. Meat me at the charcuterie board.
3. Slice, slice, baby!
4. You had me at brie.
5. Eat, drink, and brie merry!
6. Curd your enthusiasm, it's charcuterie time!
7. Board certified snacker.
8. Grate minds snack alike.
9. Let's get this board started.
10. I'm nacho average charcuterie lover.
11. Snack responsibly. Or don't.
12. All aboard the snack board.
13. Cheese the day.
14. Never a dull board.
15. The thrill of the graze.
16. Say cheese and brie happy!

Cheese Puns

Cheese is the star of most boards, so it gets the most puns. If you need help picking the cheeses themselves, here's our guide to the best cheeses for a charcuterie board.

1. Swiss dreams are made of cheese.
2. We're better when we cheddar together.
3. I camembert life without charcuterie.
4. Havarti ever seen a board this delicious?
5. Life is gouda when shared with friends.
6. You feta believe this board is amazing!
7. It's a gruyère-t day for cheese.
8. Age is just a number, unless you're cheese.
9. No bleu-ming way I'm sharing this.
10. The bries have it!
11. Cheese lovers have grate expectations.
12. I like big bries and I cannot lie!
13. I wheel-y love cheese more than most people.
14. Brie-lieve in yourself.
15. You're stilton the one.
16. You goat this.
17. Feta late than never.
18. Ricotta love this board.
19. Cheese me, baby, one more time!
20. Embrace your inner cheese-iness.
21. Let the cheese be the wheel deal.
22. Curd you believe we made this?
23. Time for un-brie-lievable fun!

Meat Puns

These are for the salami and prosciutto lovers. For the real thing, see our list of the best meats for a charcuterie board or go all in with an all-meat charcuterie board.

1. Prosciutto be kidding me.
2. Live, laugh, Genoa salami.
3. Cured of boredom.
4. Hope for the best, prepare for the wurst.
5. This is chorizo much fun.
6. Salami tell you a secret: this board took ten minutes.
7. Pâté like it's 1999.
8. Ham it up.
9. Pepperoni puts a pep in my step.
10. Hold the bologna. This is charcuterie.
11. The best things in life are cured.
12. Meat cute.

Cracker, Olive & Fruit Puns

Don't forget the supporting cast! These are perfect for little labels next to each item. Find more ideas in our guide to charcuterie accoutrements and the best jams for a charcuterie board.

1. Olive you so much.
2. Crackers about you.
3. Fig-ure it out later. Snack now.
4. Jam-packed with love.
5. Grape minds think alike.
6. You're one in a melon.
7. Kind of a big dill.
8. Mustard've been love.
9. Dip, dip, hooray!
10. I'm nuts about this board.
11. We go together like crackers and brie.
12. Quince-essential snacking.

Funny Charcuterie Board Sayings (For Engraving & Signs)

These longer sayings are gorgeous when engraved on a board, printed on a party sign, or spelled out on a letter board.

1. A balanced diet is a charcuterie board in each hand.
2. You can't make everyone happy, but you can make them a charcuterie board.
3. Life is too short for bad cheese and boring crackers.
4. I'm just here for the cheese puns and cured meats.
5. This board is a gouda reason to cancel plans.
6. The secret ingredient is always cheese.
7. When in doubt, add more cheese.
8. Welcome to the board meeting. Snacks are mandatory.
9. Please do not eat the board. Everything else is fair game.
10. Charcuterie: the art of cheese therapy.
11. Made with love and way too much cheese.
12. Warning: may contain cheese puns.
13. Grazing is a lifestyle.
14. Crackers and cheese? More like a snack soulmate situation.
15. A cheese a day keeps the grumpy away.

Tips for Engraving a Charcuterie Board

The great thing about an engraved board is that the funny saying is slowly revealed as the meats, cheeses, and accoutrements disappear throughout the party. Make it a game: whoever guesses the quote first gets to take the board home (no peeking)!

You could have a board personalized with a name, but we love the idea of something clever and funny (or both!). Shorter quotes let you use a larger font, or a smaller font along just one edge of the board, so keep this in mind when choosing your quote. Our guide to charcuterie board sizes can help you figure out how much space you'll have.

If you already have a board you love, check for local engravers. It's often a little cheaper, and there's no waiting on shipping! Costco often has very nice boards at a good price, especially around the holidays.

We've found that round and rectangular boards are the easiest shapes to engrave, but a square works as long as it's large enough.

Charcuterie Jokes

These are guaranteed to get a groan (and a laugh) at your next party.

1. What do you call a charcuterie board with no meat? A cheese board having an identity crisis.
2. Why are charcuterie boards such good friends? They always have your snack.
3. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
4. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
5. Why did the cracker go to the doctor? It was feeling crummy.
6. What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Halloumi!
7. Why was the olive so stressed? It was in a tight brine.
8. What's a charcuterie board's favorite dance? The cha-cha-cuterie.
9. Why did the prosciutto break up with the melon? It felt too wrapped up in the relationship.
10. How do you know a charcuterie board is confident? It's full of brie-vado.
11. Why do cheese wheels never win arguments? They always end up going in circles.
12. Why did the cheese break up with the fondue pot? Things were getting too heated.

Charcuterie Board Captions for Instagram

You made a gorgeous board, so give it a great caption to match!

1. Never board.
2. Grazing season is officially open.
3. Weekend plans: graze.
4. Currently grazing.
5. Snack goals: achieved.
6. My love language is charcuterie.
7. Hosting? I'd brie delighted.
8. Spread the love (and the brie).
9. Gouda vibes only.
10. This is what happiness looks like on a board.
11. Made a board. Ate the board. No regrets.
12. Proof I can adult: I made a charcuterie board.
13. Plot twist: dinner is charcuterie. (Here's how to make charcuterie for dinner.)
14. Lettuce be honest, nobody came for the salad.

Wine & Charcuterie Puns

Wine and cheese are a classic pairing. Here's our guide to cheese and wine pairings for prosciutto.

1. Rosé all day, brie all night.
2. Wine and cheese: the original power couple.
3. Uncork, unwind, unwrap the brie.
4. Sip happens.
5. I'd like to propose a toast to the cheese.
6. Pinot and prosciutto, please.
7. Wine not?
8. Merlot to love here.
9. Cheese pairs well with wine. And with more cheese.
10. Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait.

Cute Charcuterie Sayings

These are sweet ones for friends, family, and anyone who's earned a spot at your table.

1. Good friends and good cheese: a recipe for a perfect day.
2. You're the brie to my cracker.
3. Gather 'round the board.
4. You make my heart melt like warm brie.
5. I'm fondue of you.
6. You're grate company.
7. Friends who graze together, stay together.
8. Cheese and laughter make the perfect pair.
9. Brie-licious moments are meant to be shared.
10. Life is better around the board.

Holiday Charcuterie Puns

Cheeky Charcuterie Puns (Adults Only)

These are a little naughty, so save them for the grown-up party.

1. Nice rack (of crackers).
2. Fifty shades of gouda.
3. Talk dirty to me: brie, prosciutto, fig jam.
4. Netflix and cheese.
5. Let's get meat-physical.
6. Size doesn't matter, unless we're talking cheese boards. (Our favorite!)
7. Hold my wine, I'm going in for the brie.
8. My kind of board meeting: wine, cheese, and sweatpants.
9. Wanna come over and see my charcuterie?
10. I'm not drunk, I'm just full of fermented things.

Funny Names for Charcuterie Boards

Need a name for your board, your party, or your side hustle? Here are our favorites, including a few twists on the word "charcuterie" that have taken on lives of their own.

1. Graze Anatomy: perfect for a nurse or doctor party.
2. The Grate Gatsby: pair it with our 1920s finger foods.
3. The Big Cheese: for the boss's birthday.
4. Sadcuterie board: when all you've got is crackers and one lonely cheese stick.
5. Charcootrie board: a spooky Halloween board.
6. Barkuterie board: dog-friendly treats for your four-legged guests.
7. Jarcuterie: individual servings in jars.
8. Chocuterie: a chocolate-heavy dessert charcuterie board.
9. Brunchcuterie: try our bagel board.
10. Snackle box: charcuterie packed in a tackle box (here's how).

Famous Cheese Quotes

And a few real quotes from people who clearly understood cheese.

1. "Cheese is milk's leap toward immortality." - Clifton Fadiman
2. "The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese." - G.K. Chesterton
3. "How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?" - Charles de Gaulle (attributed)
4. "A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman with only one eye." - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Free Charcuterie Printables

1. Funny Food Labels. These are fold-over tent cards, 8 per page, with a pun matched to a common board item:

• Brie: "You had me at brie"
• Cheddar: "Better when we cheddar together"
• Gouda: "Gouda vibes only"
• Goat cheese: "You goat this"
• Prosciutto: "Prosciutto be kidding me"
• Salami: "Live, laugh, Genoa salami"
• Olives: "Olive you so much"
• Crackers: "Crackers about you"
• Grapes: "Grape minds think alike"
• Jam: "Jam-packed with love"
• Pickles: "Kind of a big dill"
• Nuts: "I'm nuts about this board"
• Honey: "Bee mine"
• Mustard: "Mustard've been love"
• Dip: "Dip, dip, hooray!"
• Melon: "You're one in a melon"

There's also a page of blank labels for writing in your own items and puns.

2. Quote Cards and Mini Signs. 12 favorite sayings on about 4×5-inch cards, four per page. Stand them on a small easel, place them next to the board, or tie one onto a gifted board as a tag.

3. One-Page Quote List. "50 Best Funny Charcuterie Puns" on a single printable page, organized by category. It's handy for engravers, gift-givers, and letter-board decorators.

4. Mini Pun Picks. Short puns for different common charcuterie ingredients to label what's on your board. Cut them out and tape to a toothpick.

All four printables are free to download and print at home. Print them on cardstock for sturdier labels and cards.

Funny Food Labels (3 pages, PDF)Download

Charcuterie Quote Cards (3 pages, PDF)Download

50 Best Charcuterie Puns (1 page, PDF)Download

Mini Charcuterie Pun Picks (1 page, PDF)Download

FAQ

What's a good saying to engrave on a charcuterie board?
Shorter is better, since short quotes allow a larger, easier-to-read font. "Brie calm and charcuterie on," "You had me at brie," and "A balanced diet is a charcuterie board in each hand" are crowd favorites.

What's the most popular charcuterie pun?
Anything with brie! "Brie" sounds like "be," so it works in almost any phrase, from "brie happy" to "eat, drink, and brie merry."

What is a sadcuterie board?
It's the joking name for a very sparse charcuterie board, like a sleeve of crackers and a single cheese stick. It's the opposite of what we're going for here. Start with our guide to how to make a charcuterie board instead!